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whatsinaname
Member
(04-21-2017, 06:18 PM)
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Originally Posted by ChrisSTARR

I dunno if anybody's brought this up, but their YouTube channel had this gem.

https://youtu.be/fB0Q9HGlW10


NandoGip
Member
(04-21-2017, 06:32 PM)
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now that I think about it, this is literally something that could taken place in the show silicon valley lol
Armaros
Member
(04-21-2017, 06:33 PM)
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Originally Posted by NandoGip

now that I think about it, this is literally something that could taken place in the show silicon valley lol

Too fanciful, people would say it's too stupid to be believable.

Meanwhile...
jstripes
Member
(04-21-2017, 06:36 PM)
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I want a $400 internet connected machine that removes frozen juice from a can and adds three parts water.
Nordicus
Member
(04-21-2017, 06:38 PM)
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Originally Posted by jstripes

I want a $400 internet connected machine that removes frozen juice from a can and adds three parts water.

*steals the idea and starts designing the commercial*


"Don't you just hate storebought juices expiring in record times?"


*generic housewife opens a bottle of moldy juice*

"Don't you have better things to do than lugging around tons and tons of extra weight from store after a workday?"

*generic 30-something man carries several jugs of juice from his car and trips over his shoe laces*
Last edited by Nordicus; 04-21-2017 at 06:43 PM.
Ade
Member
(04-21-2017, 06:41 PM)
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Next up a microwave with DRM, only pre approver ready meal blocks can be cooked.
Vixdean
Member
(04-21-2017, 06:48 PM)
So what, they couldn't minaturize a device strong enough to actually squeeze fresh veggies/fruits so they pre juiced them at the factory? Someone should try replacing the slurry in one of the bags with actual raw plant matter and see if can squeeze it at all lol
phaonaut
Member
(04-21-2017, 06:50 PM)
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Is the machine able to produce more juice from the bag than by hands?

I can squeeze a fruit to get juice from it but it wont be anywhere near as efficient as using a juicer.

Edit: question answered
damn, it does thats crazy
Violet_0
(04-21-2017, 06:59 PM)
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and you cannot buy this delicious juice in a bottle because
Muppet of a Man
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:04 PM)
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Originally Posted by gutterboy44

I went to Parsons for product design and the school was absolutely rife with this type of thinking and many professors were happy to reinforce it. Don't solve problems, make news ones you can sell people sexy solutions too. I remember turning blue in the face trying to explain how a classmates entire product concept was flawed because it defied the laws of physics, but all they could talk about was how it looked like it could be in an Apple store. Industrial design is awesome, but there are some really toxic trends and this juicer is a perfect manifestation of it. I take a tremendous amount of delight at seeing this blow up in their face and hopefully a bunch of VC wankers losing their money. Also, juicing in general is a waste imo. Fruits and vegetables are amazing, just eat the whole damn thing.

Great post. I can vouch for this these toxic trends within the design community, as well.
Muppet of a Man
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:05 PM)
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Originally Posted by Ade

Next up a microwave with DRM, only pre approver ready meal blocks can be cooked.

So much added value...can you feel it?
Gr1mLock
Passing metallic gas
(04-21-2017, 07:07 PM)
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They can rebrand the incident as a 'real life hack'.
Armaros
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:09 PM)
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Originally Posted by Gr1mLock

They can rebrand the incident as a 'real life hack'.

They call people squeezing the bags by hand as a hack.

Not even joking
Dreams-Visions
I'm mad as hell but this sandwich is delicious
(04-21-2017, 07:23 PM)
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Honestly? It seems kinda cool to me. Some interesting ideas here.

If it were $100 for the unit and $2.50 per pouch, there would be a solid market for this, I think.
broncobuster
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:28 PM)
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Originally Posted by ChrisSTARR

I dunno if anybody's brought this up, but their YouTube channel had this gem.

https://youtu.be/fB0Q9HGlW10

It's like there's an alternate reality that revolves around juice.
Ade
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:30 PM)
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I feel they'd do better with Goujon John as a spokesman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWREDus50zc

Do you like Juice? Would you like Juice? I'm going to bring Juice to you RIGHT NOW, WHEVER YOU ARE. I'm GOING TO RAM JUICE INTO YOUR FACE
DeviantBoi
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:39 PM)
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Originally Posted by Ade

I feel they'd do better with Goujon John as a spokesman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWREDus50zc

Do you like Juice? Would you like Juice? I'm going to bring Juice to you RIGHT NOW, WHEVER YOU ARE. I'm GOING TO RAM JUICE INTO YOUR FACE

Or David Schwimmer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=726Ujz_KOHE
Akuun
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:40 PM)
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The inside of the pack just looks like mulched fruit. I don't see why they insist on four tonnes of pressure for that.
Box of Kittens
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:40 PM)
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Originally Posted by WaterAstro

Why not just eat fruit?

I don't know how to connect a piece of fruit to the internet.
HStallion
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:41 PM)
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Originally Posted by Dreams-Visions

Honestly? It seems kinda cool to me. Some interesting ideas here.

If it were $100 for the unit and $2.50 per pouch, there would be a solid market for this, I think.

Or you just buy a pack of juice boxes for a fraction of the cost
jasonng
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:54 PM)
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Originally Posted by Box of Kittens

I don't know how to connect a piece of fruit to the internet.

You made me spit out my coffee. You owe me a new keyboard.
Armaros
Member
(04-21-2017, 07:58 PM)
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Originally Posted by jasonng

You made me spit out my coffee. You owe me a new keyboard.

Just join the fruit-bag squeezing gig economy, you will earn enough for a new keyboard in no time.

Fruit-bag squeeze your way to new opportunities.
GhaleonEB
knows his net worth
(04-21-2017, 07:58 PM)
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Originally Posted by Akuun

The inside of the pack just looks like mulched fruit. I don't see why they insist on four tonnes of pressure for that.

Given the Bloomberg reporter was able to get all but half an ounce of the juice out of the bag by hand squeezing vs. the juicer, I don't think it actually applies that much pressure. That's why the contents are so mulched up.
Koomaster
Member
(04-21-2017, 08:10 PM)
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Originally Posted by Armaros

They are offering refunds and begging people to not squeeze the bags.

You can't make this up if you tried.

http://gizmodo.com/juicero-ceo-begs-...ags-1794507811



Someone opening one of the bag.

This is escalating. Now people are using scissor hacks on the bags?! Pure madness!
ZeroCypher
Member
(04-21-2017, 08:19 PM)
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Originally Posted by NandoGip

now that I think about it, this is literally something that could taken place in the show silicon valley lol

They did, it was The Box
Akuun
Member
(04-21-2017, 08:22 PM)
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Originally Posted by GhaleonEB

Given the Bloomberg reporter was able to get all but half an ounce of the juice out of the bag by hand squeezing vs. the juicer, I don't think it actually applies that much pressure. That's why the contents are so mulched up.

Probably.

That means both all the talk about them "precisely cutting everything into optimal shapes and sizes" AND their talk about high pressure are complete bullshit.
Ade
Member
(04-21-2017, 08:29 PM)
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Originally Posted by Koomaster

This is escalating. Now people are using scissor hacks on the bags?! Pure madness!

So we've gone from crude hacks, to unlicensed 3rd party hardware already!
NekoFever
Member
(04-21-2017, 08:29 PM)
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Originally Posted by Gentleman Jack

Am I allowed to monetize my Juicero twitch stream and youtube videos or do I have to join the "Juicero creators program" and kick them 75% of my rev in order to obtain a license to broadcast with their IP?

Honestly, there are enough people on GAF who talk like this that my satire detector is going haywire.
BlazinSkatinAxel
Member
(04-21-2017, 08:31 PM)
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Bagged juice? It's this like bagged liquor?
Kenstar
Member
(04-21-2017, 09:31 PM)
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Originally Posted by BlazinSkatinAxel

Bagged juice? It's this like bagged liquor?

its bagged pre crushed wet fruit that needs to be squeezed a bit to get the juice out

There's a good reason why juicers are so loud and big since they have to deal with raw unprocessed fruit and not glorified applesauce

You could prob. put those carrots in a bottle, shake them vigourously for a minute and pour it thru a coffee filter to get juice

wouldn't be surprised if they dont last long since they're pre crushed and a quarter juiced already vs whole non leaking fruit
Dreams-Visions
I'm mad as hell but this sandwich is delicious
(04-21-2017, 09:48 PM)
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Originally Posted by HStallion

Or you just buy a pack of juice boxes for a fraction of the cost

But juice boxes aren't the same thing as this. Not even remotely.

Originally Posted by Kenstar

its bagged pre crushed wet fruit that needs to be squeezed a bit to get the juice out

There's a good reason why juicers are so loud and big since they have to deal with raw unprocessed fruit and not glorified applesauce

You could prob. put those carrots in a bottle, shake them vigourously for a minute and pour it thru a coffee filter to get juice

wouldn't be surprised if they dont last long since they're pre crushed and a quarter juiced already vs whole non leaking fruit

Yep that's probably why it only has a week shelf life.
HStallion
Member
(04-21-2017, 10:20 PM)
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Originally Posted by Dreams-Visions

But juice boxes aren't the same thing as this. Not even remotely.

Yep that's probably why it only has a week shelf life.

Then buy a bottle of fresh squeezed juice for a fraction of the cost
Kayhan
Member
(04-21-2017, 10:24 PM)
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He claimed the "hacking" of the pouches did not produce the same quality of juice. saying the machine was calibrated to deal with different ingredients differently.

Can't wait for the Deus Ex: Juicero Machina DLC.
BreezyLimbo
Member
(04-21-2017, 10:28 PM)
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it's amazing that the bagged juice has an 8 day expiration date and the machine locks you out.

Bagged juice should last longer.
Dreams-Visions
I'm mad as hell but this sandwich is delicious
(04-21-2017, 10:33 PM)
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Originally Posted by HStallion

Then buy a bottle of fresh squeezed juice for a fraction of the cost

but..my suggestion was that these would be $2.50.

$2.50/glass for legit freshly squeezed juice drinks is quite competitive. Less than say...Jamba Juice while being similarly "fresh squeezed".

Yea you'd have to buy the machine, but that's why I suggested $100. Maybe a bit more.

So what I'm suggesting is that at a $100 pricepoint you pay a little more up front, but if you're a juice-head or Jamba Juice regular and use the thing regularly instead, maybe you can get the Jamba Juice experience for half the daily cost or less.

I think there is a market for that. You don't have to agree. There is probably not, however, a market for a $600 juicier that taxes $6-$10 per cup.
segasonic
Member
(04-21-2017, 10:34 PM)

Originally Posted by BreezyLimbo

it's amazing that the bagged juice has an 8 day expiration date and the machine locks you out.

Bagged juice should last longer.

Reroute the interwebs to a fake timeserver in order to get juice even though the bag is past its expiration date. LIFE HACKED!
Dreams-Visions
I'm mad as hell but this sandwich is delicious
(04-21-2017, 10:36 PM)
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Originally Posted by BreezyLimbo

it's amazing that the bagged juice has an 8 day expiration date and the machine locks you out.

Bagged juice should last longer.

Probably lacks preservatives and they don't want people getting sick. Also, $$$.
HStallion
Member
(04-21-2017, 10:40 PM)
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Originally Posted by Dreams-Visions

but..my suggestion was that these would be $2.50.

$2.50/glass for legit freshly squeezed juice drinks is quite competitive. Less than say...Jamba Juice while being similarly "fresh squeezed".

Yea you'd have to buy the machine, but that's why I suggested $100. Maybe a bit more.

So what I'm suggesting is that at a $100 pricepoint you pay a little more up front, but if you're a juice-head or Jamba Juice regular and use the thing regularly instead, maybe you can get the Jamba Juice experience for half the daily cost or less.

I think there is a market for that. You don't have to agree. There is probably not, however, a market for a $600 juicier that taxes $6-$10 per cup.

Sounds like you could use a $100 juicer then.
Last edited by HStallion; 04-21-2017 at 10:50 PM.
mike6467
Member
(04-21-2017, 10:45 PM)
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Originally Posted by Ade

Next up a microwave with DRM, only pre approver ready meal blocks can be cooked.

I can totally see a company making something like this for dieting purposes. Hell, an entire interconnect kitchen with DRM food.

"You've already had your breakfast John, would you like one of your meal replacement bars? The pantry has been unlocked and one bar has been authorized. Please ensure you only take your allotted ration to avoid complete system lockout....There is....1 hour....28 minutes...until this meal can be cooked. Why don't you have a glass of water? *insert inspirational slogan here*
Dreams-Visions
I'm mad as hell but this sandwich is delicious
(04-21-2017, 11:06 PM)
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Originally Posted by HStallion

Sounds like you could use a $100 juicer then.

Well that's a bit lazy and reductive. You could say the same to anyone who frequents a juice bar. "Why are you here bro? Just buy a juicer, lolol." Sure, but that increases the complication. Gotta figure out or find cool recipies/combinations of fruits, go buy the ingredients, some fruits gotta get peeled, etc.

In theory, if they had some "juice bags" or whatever they call these things that came with the right mix of juices to replicate the Jamba Juice experience but for $2-$3, it would save the time required to find and prepare certain fruits/vegetables while retaining mostly equivalent freshness with far more convenience.

I agree if it's just a bag of mulched carrots, there isn't much value over just juicing your own. But what if it's a mix that gives the equivalent of this:

http://www.jambajuice.com/menu-and-n...orange-supreme

or this

http://www.jambajuice.com/menu-and-n...eggie-vitality

or this

http://www.jambajuice.com/menu-and-n...s/great-greens

Imagine if they had an equivalent line of juices equivalent to the energy/health drinks they sell at LA Fitness or your local chain gym. They charge $6-$8 for these at my local gym.

There is value to not having/wanting to go to Jamba Juice or equivalent to buy these kinds of drinks. Further, not having to try to find the ingredients at the store, peel or clean the fruits/vegetables, blend them and clean up. Obviously. Or places like Jamba Juice wouldn't exist in the first place.

I don't know if this Juciero thing has juice options like that and it doesn't matter if it did. It's overpriced at every stage. There would have been a meaningful market if it were 1/3 or 1/2 its asking price for the machine and juices, especially if the juice options include mixes like what juice chain stores sell.
Last edited by Dreams-Visions; 04-21-2017 at 11:10 PM.
TTOOLL
Member
(04-21-2017, 11:10 PM)
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I promise to buy one and not hack it.
Brakke
(04-21-2017, 11:39 PM)
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Dreams-Visions up here real nervous his own bullshit juice venture 'bout to get found out?
itwasTuesday
Member
(04-21-2017, 11:43 PM)
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If they just sold the bags and a 40 dollar manual press with a crank arm. Then the expensive model for others.
ItIsOkBro
Member
(04-22-2017, 12:52 AM)
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I do see a real market for the hand-squeezed bags. They need to swallow their pride and sell the bags. It could have been a great innovator's story too. "We wanted to make convenient juicer. We made these of mulchy packs to support our machine. Then we realize you could hand squeeze the packs! So we rebranded as fresh juice via hand sqeezing." I could see Shark Tank eating that shit up, calling it smart etc.
Last edited by ItIsOkBro; 04-22-2017 at 12:59 AM.
Manzoon
Junior Member
(04-22-2017, 08:13 PM)
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I can't believe this story is continuing to entertain, it just never stops giving. That juice bar video is astounding.
Rukes
The front page still gets no respect
(04-22-2017, 08:27 PM)
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One of my friends has one, and it's just hilarious how poorly implied the DRM is.

He came home from a very late dinner just before midnight, and decided to use the last bag remaining before it expired. He put the bag in the machine just as midnight hit and poof, it wouldn't let him use it because it was 1 minute past expiration. Of course as you know, much like other food items, once midnight hits in your time zone, mold and disease just explodes all over the food like a forest in Mononoke.
louiedog
Member
(04-22-2017, 08:31 PM)
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Originally Posted by Rukes

One of my friends has one, and it's just hilarious how poorly implied the DRM is.

He came home from a very late dinner just before midnight, and decided to use the last bag remaining before it expired. He put the bag in the machine just as midnight hit and poof, it wouldn't let him use it because it was 1 minute past expiration. Of course as you know, much like other food items, once midnight hits in your time zone, mold and disease just explodes all over the food like a forest in Mononoke.

Crisis averted.

830920
Member
(04-22-2017, 08:40 PM)
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At least they're saving the planet - one plastic bag at a time.
UFO
Member
(04-22-2017, 08:44 PM)
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Originally Posted by Rukes

One of my friends has one, and it's just hilarious how poorly implied the DRM is.

He came home from a very late dinner just before midnight, and decided to use the last bag remaining before it expired. He put the bag in the machine just as midnight hit and poof, it wouldn't let him use it because it was 1 minute past expiration. Of course as you know, much like other food items, once midnight hits in your time zone, mold and disease just explodes all over the food like a forest in Mononoke.

Did he just squeeze the bag with his hands?
Stinkles
Clothed, sober, cooperative
(04-22-2017, 08:46 PM)
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The most astonishing thing to me is that this is a product people bought rather than a failed kickstarter.


It seems like the demographic is like, people who grew up with servants but can no longer afford to keep the help?

Keurig may be just as lazy but you can't argue that it's a convenient way to brew a single cup of coffee. Although their DRM attempt was almost as hilarious.

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