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Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:12 PM)
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Originally Posted by Box of Kittens

Well, most of them remind me a lot of Jobs. At least the "being a complete asshole" part.

I was thinking more about the 'crazy invention that doesn't really do anything with an inventor that worships Jobs'

It's always 'wans to be steve jobs' -> 'make product that doesn't really do anything's -> 'talk about steve jobs'
Zabka
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:16 PM)
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How do you write this story and not slice open a fresh pack to see what's actually inside?
Lonely1
Junior Member
(04-19-2017, 07:17 PM)
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Originally Posted by Zabka

How do you write this story and not slice open a fresh pack to see what's actually inside?

They are $8.
Ripenen
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:19 PM)

Originally Posted by HamPster PamPster

Juice = This thing
Coffee = Keurig
Soda = Sodastream
...
Tea = My $120 million idea (patent pending pls don't steal)

Hate to break it to you but you can make tea in a Keurig.

There are even such devices for beer. PicoBrew is one and a number of others have been kickstarted.
jrh2
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:21 PM)
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If I had more money to blow I could definitely see getting a product like this for the convenience of it. $400 is not that bad for a long-term investment and neither is $5-8 for juice packets. You'd pay that much (or more) at a juice bar.

You have to realize that not all products have to be for all people. There are those out there willing to put in the time and effort to make juice at home (or forgo it altogether) rather than spend money on something like this. That's fine.

This exists for a segment of the market that your typical NeoGAF user is probably not a part of. And they'll probably make a killing off of it.
ipitydatfu
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:23 PM)
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So they're selling us packs of mashed fruit that's to be squeezed out of a bag?
capitalCORN
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:25 PM)

Originally Posted by Ripenen

Hate to break it to you but you can make tea in a Keurig.

There are even such devices for beer. PicoBrew is one and a number of others have been kickstarted.

Keurig bottom barrel too. Try a better brand. Like De’Longhi or Nespresso.
Box of Kittens
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:26 PM)
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Originally Posted by jrh2

If I had more money to blow I could definitely see getting a product like this for the convenience of it. $400 is not that bad for a long-term investment and neither is $5-8 for juice packets. You'd pay that much (or more) at a juice bar.

You have to realize that not all products have to be for all people. There are those out there willing to put in the time and effort to make juice at home (or forgo it altogether) rather than spend money on something like this. That's fine.

This exists for a segment of the market that your typical NeoGAF user is probably not a part of. And they'll probably make a killing off of it.

I've spent enough time on GAF to know that the "will defend DRM no matter how ridiculous" market is very well represented here.
homeworkfilms
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:26 PM)
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Originally Posted by jrh2

If I had more money to blow I could definitely see getting a product like this for the convenience of it. $400 is not that bad for a long-term investment and neither is $5-8 for juice packets. You'd pay that much (or more) at a juice bar.

You have to realize that not all products have to be for all people. There are those out there willing to put in the time and effort to make juice at home (or forgo it altogether) rather than spend money on something like this. That's fine.

This exists for a segment of the market that your typical NeoGAF user is probably not a part of. And they'll probably make a killing off of it.

Those are people with class or economic status with money to blow on a product like this. The reason it gets made fun of is that it is yet another product made by and for rich people, which is part of a very troubling trend.
Maledict
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:30 PM)
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Originally Posted by homeworkfilms

Those are people with class or economic status with money to blow on a product like this. The reason it gets made fun of is that it is yet another product made by and for rich people, which is part of a very troubling trend.

What's wrong with a product made for and by rich people?

I thought we were making fun of this because it's a giant con for rich idiots?
Zabka
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:30 PM)
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Jesus, the packs aren't even recyclable. You can request a label to send the empty packs back to Juicero.
Morat
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:33 PM)
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A fool and his money etc.
louiedog
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:34 PM)
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Originally Posted by jrh2

If I had more money to blow I could definitely see getting a product like this for the convenience of it. $400 is not that bad for a long-term investment and neither is $5-8 for juice packets. You'd pay that much (or more) at a juice bar.

You have to realize that not all products have to be for all people. There are those out there willing to put in the time and effort to make juice at home (or forgo it altogether) rather than spend money on something like this. That's fine.

This exists for a segment of the market that your typical NeoGAF user is probably not a part of. And they'll probably make a killing off of it.

I mostly agree with your assessment. I have no interest in it, but as I mentioned earlier in the thread I've seen people clean traditional juicers and it seems like a pain in the ass and I understand not wanting to deal with them. However, the part where the $400 (down from $700) machine does only slightly better than a pair of human hands and takes more time to do so while also using a proprietary format is insane and ridiculous and deserves to be mocked.

Also, I live in a place where cold pressed juice was huge a year or two ago and where you'd expect this machine to sell. There are tons of places around to get it and they've all been pretty empty for the last few months so I'm not sure what the longevity of the trend is.
Box of Kittens
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:37 PM)
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It's one thing to spend $400 on a juicer that uses some sort of prepackaged fruit if you have the money to blow. What makes this so ridiculous is it's an expensive always-online appliance you have to subscribe to (complete with DRM) whose function can be performed with your bare hands juxtaposed with all the typical Silicon Valley "we're disruptive innovators changing the world" arrogance.
Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:38 PM)
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Originally Posted by Box of Kittens

It's one thing to spend $400 on a juicer that uses some sort of prepackaged fruit if you have the money to blow. What makes this so ridiculous is it's an expensive always-online appliance you have to subscribe to (complete with DRM) whose function can be performed with your bare hands juxtaposed with all the typical Silicon Valley "we're disruptive innovators changing the world" arrogance.

All they are missing is the app connected to the gig economy.
firehawk12
Subete no aware
(04-19-2017, 07:45 PM)
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I feel like the packs should have DRM on them so that if you try to squeeze them by hand or with any other device, they just explode and cause a mess.
xtrasauce
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:47 PM)
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Originally Posted by Dick Justice

This guy looks like Oscar Bluth.

Never give your trust to a man who wears glasses that makes it look like he is not wearing glasses, for only deception awaits at the end of that road.

I wear the same glasses.
dankir
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:48 PM)
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Well is the juice any good???
Ripenen
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:50 PM)

Originally Posted by homeworkfilms

Those are people with class or economic status with money to blow on a product like this. The reason it gets made fun of is that it is yet another product made by and for rich people, which is part of a very troubling trend.

What other recent products fit this trend?
LakeEarth
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:51 PM)
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Originally Posted by HamPster PamPster

Juice = This thing
Coffee = Keurig
Soda = Sodastream
...
Tea = My $120 million idea (patent pending pls don't steal)

Keurig beat ya to it. There are k-cups for coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and even soup.
capitalCORN
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:52 PM)

Originally Posted by dankir

Well is the juice any good???

It's literally crusher fruit liquid. You know, juice.
louiedog
Member
(04-19-2017, 07:55 PM)
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Originally Posted by xtrasauce

Never give your trust to a man who wears glasses that makes it look like he is not wearing glasses, for only deception awaits at the end of that road.

I wear the same glasses.

How do I know you're not lying?
FantasticMrFoxdie
Mumber
(04-19-2017, 08:00 PM)
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Originally Posted by claviertekky

Why was your workplace giving them away?

It was a party gift. Not fully sure why they gave them away, im assuming Juicero may have sponsored our work event.

I actually got hyped because the presentation of packaging and product all feel like $800. First impression out of the box, it looks cool. It does convey a futuristic Keurig for juicers.

We thought we had everything we needed since we had a full box of free juice packets. Not until I attempted to use it did i start to realize "oh thats why they are giving these away" :/

You have to download an app to connect to the juicer (I dont think you can use it if you dont have a smart phone either), you then connect the juicer to your wifi (it has to be near wifi to use it too) in order to access the site and unlock the "DRM" to use the machine.

The app and the site beat around the bush and don't outright say "YOU CANNOT USE THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE A SUBSCRIPTION". I recall I found out this not through their website, but from articles criticizing that feature of the product.

As someone mentioned in this thread, the juice packets all have QR codes on them which i'm assuming are DRM for those as well. The juice packets also have a short-life expiration date, since its actually veggies & fruits inside. Another juicy irony, these juice packets are shockingly similar to shape, size, and texture to actual hospital Blood Bags.

We had a box full of DRM juice packets and they were set to expire in a week. So we improvised and squeezed the packets ourselves. It was clear to me why they were giving these away.
Overall, good laughs, great experience, delicious juice.
a fucking waste and theres a huge brick in my kitchen now, i feel bad for those who spent money on it
Never give up on your dreams gaf.
Last edited by FantasticMrFoxdie; 04-19-2017 at 08:07 PM.
Earthbound64
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:01 PM)
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Originally Posted by h1nch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk

Perfect first post.
GloveSlap
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:01 PM)
Maybe its $400 because there are a pair of cutting edge robotic hands inside.
Chococat
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:02 PM)
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Originally Posted by Metalgus

This is amazing. All of it. These fruits must be soft as Hell if you can squeeze juice from them by hand.

I'm seeing green in that cup. The kale/spinach must be pre-pulped if you can do it by hand.
Koomaster
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:03 PM)
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They should just downsize this thing and make a smaller model for toothpaste. But it should only work on toothpaste made and sold by the company. Can't have you putting any old competitor's product in the Toothpastero!

Or just make it only squeeze single use toothpaste packs, each one containing exactly enough for 1 brushing. Charge like $2.50 per pack in a variety of flavors. Could have a different flavor every time you brush.

Actually screw this company, brb making a kickstarter page...
jrh2
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:05 PM)
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Originally Posted by Box of Kittens

I've spent enough time on GAF to know that the "will defend DRM no matter how ridiculous" market is very well represented here.

People have the right to decide if they want to buy a product that has propriety refills. Again, some people would choose this for the sake of convenience or whatever else. Everyone has their reasons.
PyroPaperPlanes
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:06 PM)
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Originally Posted by h1nch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk

There really is a Simpsons clip for everything.
Box of Kittens
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:07 PM)
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Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie


You have to download an app to connect to the juicer (I dont think you can use it if you dont have a smart phone either), you then connect the juicer to your wifi (it has to be near wifi to use it too) in order to access the site and unlock the "DRM" to use the machine.

The app and the site beat around the bush and don't outright say "YOU CANNOT USE THIS UNLESS YOU HAVE A SUBSCRIPTION". I recall I found out this not through their website, but from articles criticizing that feature of the product.

Wait, there's actually an app? This is turning into the perfect distillation of Silicon Valley's bullshit. Now all we need is to find out it's all about sidestepping local regulations on juicers, that employees don't get health insurance or retirement but there's a waterslide in the office, and a rampant culture of workplace sexism.
Khalifa Jayy
aka RJNavarrete
(04-19-2017, 08:09 PM)
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Originally Posted by TTOOLL

Amazing that I just subscribed to Silicon Valley Season 4 thread hahahah

Wait, Season 4 is out? Yessssss
FantasticMrFoxdie
Mumber
(04-19-2017, 08:09 PM)
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Originally Posted by HamPster PamPster

Juice = This thing
Coffee = Keurig
Soda = Sodastream
...
Tea = My $120 million idea (patent pending pls don't steal)

sorry man you can use Keurig's for tea too. lol

You can even use a keurig to dispense hot water into your tea cup.

Originally Posted by Chittagong

Ahahahaha, I am a VC and I am dying reading this, thanks for sharing! Holy shit which VC backed this...?

Honestly, it seems like a cool idea to have a "Keurig Juicer", but the execution here is all fucking wrong. very very wrong.

Originally Posted by Box of Kittens

Wait, there's actually an app? This is turning into the perfect distillation of Silicon Valley's bullshit. Now all we need is to find out it's all about sidestepping local regulations on juicers, that employees don't get health insurance or retirement but there's a waterslide in the office, and a rampant culture of workplace sexism.

iirc, the app is mandatory. It won't be able to work without being connected to WiFi through the app. lol
Gooster
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:10 PM)
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Oh man I missed the part where this thing was originally $700 lmao
Box of Kittens
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:10 PM)
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Originally Posted by jrh2

People have the right to decide if they want to buy a product that has propriety refills. Again, some people would choose this for the sake of convenience or whatever else. Everyone has their reasons.

Far be it from me to tell people they can't be idiots. I just reserve the right to mock them.
ReAxion
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:11 PM)
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Listen. Many features of life in this, the Ham-Fisted Satire Of Late Capitalism Dimension, are stupid. Donald Trump got to be president by holding up the wallet his dad gave him and yelling “I fuck this wallet.” The police will beat the shit out of you for using your flight ticket. Miami Beach is literally dissolving. The only thing this dimension does well is show its ass. We might as well applaud it!

God bless Juicero.

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/i-j...uch-1794459898

Hellraizer
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:11 PM)
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A 400 dollar juicer, and 7 dollar per pack of juice that is essentially just liquid sugar? Ist he pack filled with vitamins and protein, or just like any juicer that strips away everything good that is in a fruit so you can pretend you drink something healthy, while you could have just had a coke or something, for similar nutritional (non)-values?

Edit: ok it's chopped. But juicing it makes it essentially the same, no?

Chop your veggies and fruits with a knife and eat them ffs.
Last edited by Hellraizer; 04-19-2017 at 08:15 PM.
Armaros
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:12 PM)
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Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

sorry man you can use Keurig's for tea too. lol

You can even use a keurig to dispense hot water into your tea cup.



Honestly, it seems like a cool idea to have a "Keurig Juicer", but the execution here is all fucking wrong. very very wrong.



iirc, the app is mandatory. It won't be able to work without being connected to WiFi through the app. lol

They are literally just missing the Gig sharing economy part of it.
SocksAndShoes
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:13 PM)
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Nearly everything about this product is poorly implemented. It's actually kind of impressive.
Skyzard
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:15 PM)
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Didn't make sense when I heard of it a while back, doesn't make sense now.

I don't even.
jrh2
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:15 PM)
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Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

Honestly, it seems like a cool idea to have a "Keurig Juicer", but the execution here is all fucking wrong. very very wrong.

Again, I'll defend anyone's right to buy this if they feel it fits their lifestyle and their needs. But I agree there are like 4 different layers of complexity in this product that don't need to exist and arguably the business model would be more appealing to the average consumer if they streamlined it a bit. Take the entire machine aspect out of it altogether, figure out a different method of packaging that makes it easier for a consumer to squeeze themselves, and sell a subscription that's slightly higher in price than the cost of the juice packets now. Those meal subscription services like Blue Apron are incredibly fucking successful and you don't need to pay a $400 startup cost to get them going.

The real innovation here seems to be in the juice packets themselves, the machine is just an added complication that could be worked around for a simpler, better product.
BanGy.nz
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:16 PM)
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Originally Posted by jrh2

If I had more money to blow I could definitely see getting a product like this for the convenience of it. $400 is not that bad for a long-term investment and neither is $5-8 for juice packets. You'd pay that much (or more) at a juice bar.

You have to realize that not all products have to be for all people. There are those out there willing to put in the time and effort to make juice at home (or forgo it altogether) rather than spend money on something like this. That's fine.

This exists for a segment of the market that your typical NeoGAF user is probably not a part of. And they'll probably make a killing off of it.

You ruined this post by changing your avatar.
capitalCORN
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:17 PM)

Originally Posted by ReAxion

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/i-j...uch-1794459898

OMG!
Sorcerer Supreme
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:18 PM)
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Originally Posted by jrh2

If I had more money to blow I could definitely see getting a product like this for the convenience of it. $400 is not that bad for a long-term investment and neither is $5-8 for juice packets. You'd pay that much (or more) at a juice bar.

You have to realize that not all products have to be for all people. There are those out there willing to put in the time and effort to make juice at home (or forgo it altogether) rather than spend money on something like this. That's fine.

This exists for a segment of the market that your typical NeoGAF user is probably not a part of. And they'll probably make a killing off of it.

did you even watch the video?
LordOfChaos
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:18 PM)
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For $5 I can go to juice stop, or better yet save $2.50 and buy a large thing of naked at the grocery store once a week.

I'm just having a hard time seeing what value they thought this offered. It's not more convenient than a prejuiced beverage from your fridge. It's not fresh pressed juice from a juicer. It seems to be the worst of both worlds and expensive for it.

Investors were going nuts over this?
ZackieChan
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:19 PM)
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Originally Posted by Dick Justice

This guy looks like Oscar Bluth.

Why couldn't he take the shit out of his pockets before getting photographed?
jrh2
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:21 PM)
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Originally Posted by BanGy.nz

You ruined this post by changing your avatar.

Don't think the irony wasn't lost on me...

My desire for a more socialist society doesn't change the fact that we currently live in a capitalist one and my commentary takes that into account. I think there are like a billion levels that make it really sad that a product like this exists in the first place. But it's where we are and where we will be for the foreseeable future.

And hey, the more money the bourgeoisie blow on extravagant things like this, the less money they have to line the pockets of our government officials for their special interests! /s
Sesuadra
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:31 PM)
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I can buy a 330ml smoothie bottle for 1,29€ at the supermarket. and I'm talking about the kind of smoothie that's made without added sugar, only fruit and vegetables.. why do I need this device?
Gallbaro
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:32 PM)
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Originally Posted by Sesuadra

I can buy a 330ml smoothie bottle for 1,29€ at the supermarket. and I'm talking about the kind of smoothie that's made without added sugar, only fruit and vegetables.. why do I need this device?

This has a app.
Sesuadra
Member
(04-19-2017, 08:33 PM)
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Originally Posted by Gallbaro

This has a app.

damn. I'm sold.

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