Din, Nayru, and Farore, the three Goddesses, sit on their golden thrones, watching the universe go by.
"Oh look," says Din. "The Triforce in Realm C16B.2 has been stolen."
"Gee," replies Farore sarcastically. "I wonder what happens next. A hero in green embarks on a journey to collect a bunch of items before confronting the villain who's been sitting in his castle waiting for him the whole time?"
"When you put it that way, it makes us look boring and predictable. After all, we created all this," says Nayru, sweeping her hand majestically across the universe.
"Hey, what if we fought Battle Royale style?" asks Din enthusiastically, a glowing sword materializing in her hand as she speaks.
Farore shakes her head. "We've been through this. There's no telling how our powers would impact the cosmos." Closing her hand on Din's blade, she extinguishes it effortlessly.
Din slumps back, pouting. "Party pooper. Why couldn't one of us be the jealous rebel who backstabs the others in a power struggle? As long as I'm not the one backstabbed," she adds quickly.
Nayru smirks. "I think you've been watching too many legends unfold. The usurper never wins."
Farore's eyes brighten. "That gives me an idea. We have all these similar realms with related timelines and stories. Why don't we pit those characters against each other?"
Din jumps up. "That's an amazing idea! Why do we need a Battle Royale when we have all these other beings to use?"
Farore frowns slightly. "Don't get too possessive or power-hungry, Din. We're not to interfere with the Realms directly. This will only be a slight diversion for our amusement, then we'll restore everything once it's done."
Nayru nods. "Now, who will we use for this game?"
A roster containing trillions of holograms appears in front of the goddesses.
"Let me pick first!" exclaims Din, as the roster spins back and forth. She reaches out and chooses one.
The hologram expands to show a man chasing a Cucco. With a mighty leap he catches the Cucco in his hands. Before he can celebrate, the Cucco raises its head and caws loudly. In a second, a hundred Cuccos appear and swarm the man, pecking him mercilessly until he resembles a bloody pincushion. The goddesses recoil at the carnage.
Ouro has died!
The goddesses have chosen you. Evil is here, and it must be vanquished. Fulfill your destiny.
You are Ouro, an Ordinary Non-Speaking Character (this means Vanilla Townie). Like the beginning of a particular franchise, you have nothing at your disposal. Not even a jump button. The only thing you can do is VOTE.
You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.