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gaiages
Member
(08-23-2016, 12:42 AM)
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Welcome one and all to Dating-Age!

We are a group of GAFfers very much interested in your personal love life. It is our mission to help you find love, get laid, talk to that special girl/guy, or anything else that falls into the spectrum of dating. Basically, we don't want you to be GAFman. We can also help out with relationship advice, though that isn’t our direct forte.

You may ask, why have a whole OT for dating? Given the amount of threads you can see in Off-Topic pertaining to relationships and dating, it seems fitting to have a thread to help with the more… minor scenarios and basic questions of what is an ultimately confusing and emotionally driven aspect of most people’s lives.

Before we talk about dating itself first, though, there’s something important to talk about before you begin on your arduous dating journey. It’s a simple question, really:

Would you date yourself?

Originally Posted by Advocatus Diaboli

What do you bring to a possible relationship? What do you have to offer? Can you share interesting experiences with someone? Are you physically attractive so that you're aesthetically pleasing? Are you highly emotionally intelligent and sensitive to a partner's needs? Are you great in bed? Are you experienced in relationships, so that you know exactly how to support someone? Do you make people laugh?
Far too many people erroneously presume that a relationship somehow completes them, or that a relationship will add value to their lives. Sure, they add value, but only through the mixing of its shared component parts. If you bring nothing to the table, you're going to have a very shitty, codependent, dysfunctional relationship. The stock answer of "But I'll love her!" isn't enough; it's all too often that people with good intentions have terrible execution. And execution matters.

You need to be okay with yourself, and what you have to offer before you can pursue in a healthy manner. If you are unhappy with yourself, others will pick up on that, and that’s practically repellent. Not everyone needs to travel around the world, is fluent in 20 languages, or saved a third world country from starvation, it’s more having the confidence and ability to love yourself before you can love another.

If you’re not in the right mindset to date, that’s okay. It’s not the end of your dating life, and you can learn to love yourself so that you can love others. However, that’s not quite our area of expertise… though there are plenty of other places to get help! We have the Mental Health OT that provides a lot of support to others suffering from depression and anxiety, and if you feel you need to whip your body into shape, the Fitness OT is full of friendly macho men and women to help you get started.

Now that that’s out of the way…

While dating and its experiences will be somewhat unique to everyone, there are a lot of common scenarios that many will face while looking for a significant other. Let’s take a look.

Should I/How do I ask them out?

Sometimes the hardest step is the first one. You have a girl or guy you like—maybe longtime friends, or a “love at first site” deal. You want to go on a date, see if the sparks fly, but you’re just… not sure how to do it. Does she like me? Will he laugh in my face? Are they already taken?

The only way to know is to ask them out. The new OT is almost called “just ask her out already” for a reason; instead of anguishing over whether or not it’s the right move, just… do it.

Also, make it obvious that you want a date. Don’t rely on assumptions and ‘signs’ to get your point across. Use the actual word ‘date’.

Bad example: “Hey, uh… I was wondering if you’d like to hang out with me sometime?”
Good example: “Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to go out on a date sometime, maybe coffee on Saturday morning?”

In the bad example, the intentions are very easily misconstrued, and can very easily be seen as someone just wanting to chill as friends. In the good example, it’s quickly established that this is a date, as well as an actual date planned if they say yes.

Speaking of…

Wait! What about that cutie in the bookstore? Or the co-worker the next cube over?

Asking someone out in any kind of work setting is iffy, whether you are co-workers or you're a customer pining after an employee.

Let's start with co-workers. The phrase "don't dip your pen in the company ink" exists for a reason--work romances can, like any other relationship, can go south, and as a result it can lead to workplace drama that most would very much rather avoid. Such drama can even cost you your job. The Office is not real life, after all.

That's not to say that relationships that bloom from the workplace are impossible, or that they are destined to fail. The best advice is to tread with caution. If you two work in different departments or different floors, the potential for workplace gossiping (and there will be gossiping) will probably be kept to a minimum. A good rule of thumb: Is this job important to your career? If yes, consider a workplace romance very, very carefully. If no, go for it!

Now, if you're, say, a regular customer and a clerk or cashier catches your eye, it can be really hard to ask them out. They're at work, in a position where (typically) being rude to another person is very frowned down upon. A common mistake is for a person to misinterpret a worker's friendliness and customer service skills as flirting, and asking a worker out while they're at work can make for an awkward situation fast.

But, that shouldn't stop you completely in your tracks. You just need a bit of more subtle way to ask them out, so that you don't make them in an uncomfortable position. Most suggest that the best thing to do is just put your number on a piece of paper and pass it along to them. It puts the onus on them to contact you if they want to go out, but doesn't put them in a bad position if they are not interested.

What’s a good first date?
The best first dates are ones that you can interact with each, and get to learn more about each other. A common misconception about dating is that you have to ‘know’ the person before asking them out, but often times (especially when online dating comes into play), this is not the case. So, usually something like coffee or drinks at a quiet bar is the best option, as it’s cheap and forces the two of you to talk and learn about each other. Movies are generally not recommended, since you can’t talk during movies and any conversation after the movie will probably be about… well, the movie, and not about each other.

I’m nervous! I’m not sure if she’s having a good time…
Remember, body language and tone are important to dating. Learn to both pick up and give out signals, and you’ll do a lot better in the dating realm.

Originally Posted by ZackieChan

Your nonverbal communication on a date should be showing your romantic intentions. Playful and casual touching. That should escalate as the comfort level increases. I used to never touch women on dates, and now I'm making physical contact as soon as possible and as often as possible. Be honest with yourself and your intentions, and let that honesty manifest itself through both your verbal and nonverbal communication.

No hover hand, also.

It can be difficult to figure out what’s ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ to do with body language during a date, but it’s as they say—practice makes perfect. And it makes you less nervous too.
When should I text/ask for a number/call?

In it comes to things like “should I wait x amount of time to text back”, “when should I contact them again”, and so on, there’s no set rule for any of those things. If you want to text someone, you don’t have to wait 4.65 hours in between each text, or something. Go for it!

However, make sure not to come off as too clingy. One big problem seen a lot in this thread basically goes like this:

“I sent my date a text about four hours ago, but she hasn’t responded yet! I’m thinking she’s just ignoring me, it’s frustrating! So, I sent her another message, and I guess I’ll send her another one tomorrow morning, just in case she didn’t get the first few messages.”

Don’t do that. Obsessing over messages comes off as extremely clingy and needy, and oftentimes people aren’t on their phones all day. Clingy-ness can and have ruined long lasting relationships… being too clingy when you first begin dating is one of the quickest ways to get ghosted.

They stopped replying to my messages/ghosted me! Why does this happen, why can’t they say they’re not interested anymore?
In online dating, a lot of times people just… disappear. Everyone’s having a great time, the date was fantastic, and just… *poof*. Gone forever.

This can be immensely frustrating. Many people often take sudden ghosting or even an initial ignore as a slight against them. They wonder if they did something wrong, or why they don’t get any closure on this sudden break of communication.

It’s probably not your fault. There can be a billion different reasons that someone ghosted you, anywhere from ‘they didn’t feel chemistry’ to ‘I don’t feel like talking to you any more’ to anywhere in between. In online dating, neither party is owed a response. Silence is not consent in this situation—if someone ghosts you, it’s time to move on.
As for ‘why don’t they just say they’re not interested’, unfortunately, online dating seems to bring out the worst in some people, that cannot take rejection well. Insults and threats are abound, and unfortunately a few rotten people can ruin it for everyone. Remember that in the end, you two are still relative strangers, and they won’t know how you’ll react to rejection.

This person I really like told me that they aren’t ready for a relationship now, but say they’ll be ready later. I’m going to wait on them.
Please don’t. Remember, in the end you want to make you happy. While there are cases that someone isn’t ready for a relationship and will be later, you have to respect your time. Waiting for another person is simply not respecting yourself. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and waiting for one to decide to be ready is like trying to catch Moby Dick.

Additionally, this is another way many people try to gently reject someone, without explicitly saying ‘no’. See above about how some people don’t take rejection well.
I need to let this person down, but I don’t want to hurt their feelings. What do I do?
When you’re dating, you’re going to run into people that you aren’t compatible with. Don’t let it get you down, it’s just how it goes. But, you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, which is a natural reaction to meeting someone you don’t feel romantically compatible with, but think they’re nice otherwise.

Well, honestly the best thing to do is just rip the band-aid off, so to say. If you’ve been on a couple dates, just tell them that you think they’re nice, but don’t feel you two are compatible. The other person’s feelings probably will be hurt, but it’s far better to cut it off when you feel it won’t work out, than to try to keep it going to spare feelings. Oftentimes it just makes whatever is not making it work even more, and fosters feelings of bitterness.

If you haven’t even met up it, ghosting is completely acceptable. You’re not required to give a response, just as others aren’t required to give one to you.

My date flaked on me and left me hanging for two hours, I’m so angry! I’m gonna tell them how I really feel—
No, stop. Getting angry is just being childish at this point. It sucks, and I can understand your anger, but be the better person here, just delete their contact information and move on.

Okay, so, during the date, at 5:52 PM, my date moved her legs 5.7 degrees closer to me, and gave me a slight smile. Right before that I said “so, how do you do”. After that she glanced over at the table next to us and then back to me, then to another table before back to me again. I think I noticed a slight aroma of steak. At 5:55 PM our meal came out and she said “it looks so good!” I’m worried she meant something more than that, last time we went to eat she got chicken and said it looked good, but this time it’s salmon. I’m thinking she’s trying to tell me something. Am I overthinking things here?
Yes.

I have a lot of questions about online dating, it’s so overwhelming!
I can understand, there’s a lot to online dating, and even stuff that doesn’t apply to typical social norms. Thankfully, my GAF twin Jhoan runs a sister thread to our own, the Online Dating OT thread. While we’re here for more general dating advice, the Online Dating OT is more for the specifics of how to function and succeed in the virtual dating realm. We’ll answer questions of course, but for a lot of things (like profile rating/advice, picture advice, what apps to use, and so on), we generally ask that you go to the Online Dating OT.

Are there any outside resources I can look at for dating advice?
Of course! Not all of them are good, though. Good thing we know what we're talking about and have some stuff to show you:

Articles:
Fuck Yes or No by Mark Manson
The Brad Pitt Rule by Brett and Kate McKay

Podcasts/Videos:

10 ways to have a better conversation - TED Talk by Celeste Headlee

Books:
Modern Romance by Aniz Ansari
Be the Person You Want to Find by Cheri Huber
Models by Mark Manson
Shyness: What it is and What to do about it by Philip Zimbardo
The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships by Neil Strauss

Also, feel free to look at the old OTs, which have a lot more great advice!
|OT1| |OT2| |OT3| |OT4| |OT5|

Now that you've MOST DEFINITELY read the whole OT, enjoy the rest of the thread and the "charming" company of our regulars. Good luck out there!
Last edited by gaiages; 08-24-2016 at 01:22 AM.
Leeness
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(08-23-2016, 12:45 AM)
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Carrying over...

Originally Posted by Salamando

Gotta ask, which is more disappointing to you - your "success" with PoF, or that the Disneyland Tower of Terror is getting rethemed to Guardians of the Galaxy?

Oh god, that's so difficult.

Since I don't give a shit about ever dating anyone, probably Tower of Terror 😩

And with that, since...I don't give a shit about being on my own for the rest of my life, will never date anyone and I don't belong in here, I leave you guys alone again with your shiny new thread :P
Last edited by Leeness; 08-23-2016 at 01:04 AM.
woober
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(08-23-2016, 12:46 AM)
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For your entertainment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw-ID3eMcEw
inked_illusion
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(08-23-2016, 12:50 AM)
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subbed cause I'm bad at dating
siddhu33
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(08-23-2016, 12:56 AM)
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Here we go again...I've got to say, the last thread was extremely entertaining.

One thing though; women who say that "I need to know you a little better before I give you my number". This is actually some novel shit to say instead of just saying no. It's a bummer whenever it happens, but still, found it pretty neat.
Count Dookkake
Member
(08-23-2016, 12:57 AM)
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Get out and work it or stay home and jerk it!


Good luck.
Nudull
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(08-23-2016, 12:57 AM)
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I'm just starting to see someone again after several months of things not going anywhere. He's a cosplayer and drag king, and we've already started to get intimate. He wants to meet up for the second time at a convention upstate for fun and potential sexytimes (with cosplay!) and I'm just freaking out and feeling like throwing up with planning everything. @_@
Insane Metal
Banned
(08-23-2016, 12:58 AM)
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Originally Posted by inked_illusion

subbed cause I'm bad at dating

I'd sub if there was any chance I'd have a date. I don't go out, and when I do I'm mostly just doing my stuff and not trying to find someone... I mean. My self esteem is zero. I don't even bother trying anymore.
gaiages
Member
(08-23-2016, 01:02 AM)
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Originally Posted by siddhu33

Here we go again...I've got to say, the last thread was extremely entertaining.

One thing though; women who say that "I need to know you a little better before I give you my number". This is actually some novel shit to say instead of just saying no. It's a bummer whenever it happens, but still, found it pretty neat.

Yeah, basically. The first date is supposed to be the thing to get to know people with!

Originally Posted by Nudull

I'm just starting to see someone again after several months of things not going anywhere. He's a cosplayer and drag king, and we've already started to get intimate. He wants to meet up for the second time at a convention upstate for fun and potential sexytimes (with cosplay!) and I'm just freaking out and feeling like throwing up with planning everything. @_@

:( Don't be nervous! I'm sure it'll go great. If it makes you feel better I almost vomited today due to my lack of planning. Cardio is hard. So I decree you can throw up from planning :p

Originally Posted by Insane Metal

I'd sub if there was any chance I'd have a date. I don't go out, and when I do I'm mostly just doing my stuff and not trying to find someone... I mean. My self esteem is zero. I don't even bother trying anymore.

That's what online dating is for! I don't ever go out--ever--and I managed to find a man. If I can do it I assume most can.
EchoChamber
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(08-23-2016, 01:03 AM)
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New thread, new Echochamber post,my dad is wondering why I don't have a girlfriend and he asked me if I'm picky and probably i should be boring of touching myself lol.
LionPride
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(08-23-2016, 01:05 AM)
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Got a date this weekend, hopefully things go well
siddhu33
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(08-23-2016, 01:07 AM)
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Originally Posted by EchoChamber

New thread, new Echochamber post,my dad is wondering why I don't have a girlfriend and he asked me if I'm picky and probably i should be boring of touching myself lol.

You've got to put yourself out there...go out, do things, meet people. Ask friends to set you up if you must, everyone loves playing on the wing.
inked_illusion
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(08-23-2016, 01:15 AM)
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Originally Posted by Insane Metal

I'd sub if there was any chance I'd have a date. I don't go out, and when I do I'm mostly just doing my stuff and not trying to find someone... I mean. My self esteem is zero. I don't even bother trying anymore.

Dude there's always a chance.

I got blasted on the last thread but I'm taking notes, I know I'm bad now but I need all the help I can get.
Incendiary
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(08-23-2016, 01:32 AM)
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Went on a date yesterday with a girl who I thought was really cute, really awesome, and way out of my league. Turns out I was right as when I sent her another message tonight saying I enjoyed the date, she immediately replied with that she was sorry but she wasn't interested and didn't want to waste my time.

It was nice that she didn't just ghost me, but man, this was the first date I'd been on in a long time where I actually felt something after the date was over. Easy enough to keep going since it was only one date, but this one hurt. Especially since she seemed really excited to meet me before the date.
Salamando
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(08-23-2016, 01:42 AM)
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Suggestions for the OT: Cover "How do I ask out the cute barista/waitress/cashier I think I jibe with"

Also this Ted talk - Ten ways to have a better conversation. Helped me a bunch. In particular, the suggestion to never equate your story to theirs, since your experience and their experience were not the same.

Originally Posted by Leeness

Oh god, that's so difficult.

Since I don't give a shit about ever dating anyone, probably Tower of Terror 😩

And with that, since...I don't give a shit about being on my own for the rest of my life, will never date anyone and I don't belong in here, I leave you guys alone again with your shiny new thread :P

And that's why Disney World is better ;) There are only rumors of anything getting rethemed, and its just the Aerosmith roller coaster. No one goes to Disney for an Aerosmith roller coaster...
gaiages
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(08-23-2016, 01:45 AM)
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Originally Posted by Salamando

Suggestions for the OT: Cover "How do I ask out the cute barista/waitress/cashier I think I jibe with"

Also this Ted talk - Ten ways to have a better conversation. Helped me a bunch. In particular, the suggestion to never equate your story to theirs, since your experience and their experience were not the same.


And that's why Disney World is better ;) There are only rumors of anything getting rethemed, and its just the Aerosmith roller coaster. No one goes to Disney for an Aerosmith roller coaster...

I'll add the Ted Talk now, and the question a bit later. :D
M52B28
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(08-23-2016, 01:46 AM)
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This'll be interesting.
EchoChamber
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(08-23-2016, 01:57 AM)
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Originally Posted by siddhu33

You've got to put yourself out there...go out, do things, meet people. Ask friends to set you up if you must, everyone loves playing on the wing.

I will try to get my Shit together first before I try dating again hahaha , but there is a cute girl in the gym tho.
Last edited by EchoChamber; 08-23-2016 at 02:09 AM.
Konosuke
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(08-23-2016, 02:08 AM)
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I have to follow this thread more often. My dating game is in ruins. What would you guys even say to someone who just wants to find a good fuck buddy?
Nudull
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(08-23-2016, 02:10 AM)
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Originally Posted by gaiages

:( Don't be nervous! I'm sure it'll go great. If it makes you feel better I almost vomited today due to my lack of planning. Cardio is hard. So I decree you can throw up from planning :p

Heh, thanks. :p

I'm actually quite surprised at how quickly things went. Talked shortly on OKC, asked for his number and he immediately gave his number and Facebook outright, got to know each other before dating that same evening, straight up told me that I was attractive (ego boost! :D) and was open about having and talking about sex...and I obliged on both accounts. :P

Being a transgender man and into drag, he didn't have the best of luck before meeting me (you'd be amazed how much people fetishize non-cisgender people on dating sites), but he seemed to click with me immediately. I'm super glad we met each other. :)
Watevaman
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(08-23-2016, 02:14 AM)
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Can't wait to read more stories on how parking is soooo expensive.
Mediking
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(08-23-2016, 02:15 AM)
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I.... I have returned. Gotta love the new OT title. It hits home. I gotta summon the courage and just ask a woman out! I'm subbed!!!
Kanik
Sonic handles my blue balls
(08-23-2016, 02:21 AM)
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No hover hand, also.

Whenever I finish giving friends advice I'm ending each conversation with this.
LionPride
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(08-23-2016, 02:21 AM)
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Originally Posted by Konosuke

I have to follow this thread more often. My dating game is in ruins. What would you guys even say to someone who just wants to find a good fuck buddy?

You wanna fuck?

I honestly don't know, I was messaging a friend of mine about sex when randomly she asked if I wanted to hook up with her. Shit happens sometimes
Mediking
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(08-23-2016, 02:22 AM)
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Originally Posted by LionPride

You wanna fuck?

I honestly don't know, I was messaging a friend of mine about sex when randomly she asked if I wanted to hook up with her. Shit happens sometimes

You.... lucky....bastard.... hahhaha I'm totally not jealous.
Konosuke
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(08-23-2016, 02:40 AM)
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Originally Posted by LionPride

You wanna fuck?

I honestly don't know, I was messaging a friend of mine about sex when randomly she asked if I wanted to hook up with her. Shit happens sometimes

Yeah I want a friend like that haha . Not just a fuck.
Geist-
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(08-23-2016, 02:48 AM)
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Oh shit, a new one. It's been a while lol.
Mediking
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(08-23-2016, 02:50 AM)
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Originally Posted by Count Dookkake

Get out and work it or stay home and jerk it!


Good luck.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha!!!!

So true!
AcridMeat
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(08-23-2016, 03:04 AM)
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It's been a long time, just wanted to voice that you did a good job with the OP gaiages. I hope people who wander in take a look at it before posting and take the guidance to heart.
draetenth
Member
(08-23-2016, 03:14 AM)
May this thread be as entertaining to read as the last one was.
LionPride
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(08-23-2016, 03:49 AM)
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Originally Posted by Mediking

You.... lucky....bastard.... hahhaha I'm totally not jealous.

Originally Posted by Konosuke

Yeah I want a friend like that haha . Not just a fuck.

lol, yeah. We just had been DM'ing over the summer, known each other since Freshman year but hadn't really talked. Then we started talking about BJs, hook-ups, and what not for a bit and then she asked me would I wanna get down
N.Domixis
Banned
(08-23-2016, 03:51 AM)
Wow never realized this was on the sixth thread. Anyways, update: Still single.
M52B28
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(08-23-2016, 04:01 AM)
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Is it a problem if you're told "You look like a nice guy, but you're being mean to me."? I was drunk and she was high, but I'm passive aggressive and very joke-ster-like when I'm drunk.

This all came after the girl and her friend came up to two of my friends and I chilling on the curb, so I was just going with the flow that I had with my friends (just joking around drinking)

I know we were definitely both gone, and I'm questioning if I should give this thought, but I don't think I was being a dick. I drink from time to time, but not really in public. Usually, most people that are around me know how I am.

This mainly makes me wonder what I come off as when drinking.
Last edited by M52B28; 08-23-2016 at 04:04 AM.
Mediking
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(08-23-2016, 04:04 AM)
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Originally Posted by LionPride

lol, yeah. We just had been DM'ing over the summer, known each other since Freshman year but hadn't really talked. Then we started talking about BJs, hook-ups, and what not for a bit and then she asked me would I wanna get down

.... Lucky sonofa..... hahaha.
Mr Cola
Brothas With Attitude / The Wrong Brotha to Fuck Wit / Die Brotha Die / Brothas in Paris
(08-23-2016, 04:07 AM)
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Can anyone personally recommend the books in the OT? I am not looking to date currently but I enjoy the topic very much and talking to people about it.

Books:
Modern Romance by Aniz Ansari
Be the Person You Want to Find by Cheri Huber
Models by Mark Manson
Shyness: What it is and What to do about it by Philip Zimbardo
The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships by Neil Strauss
GK86
Homeland Security Fail
(08-23-2016, 04:12 AM)
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Great OT!

Originally Posted by Mr Cola

Can anyone personally recommend the books in the OT? I am not looking to date currently but I enjoy the topic very much and talking to people about it.

Books:
Modern Romance by Aniz Ansari
Be the Person You Want to Find by Cheri Huber
Models by Mark Manson
Shyness: What it is and What to do about it by Philip Zimbardo
The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships by Neil Strauss

I have read Modern Romance and thoroughly enjoyed it. I thought it provided great insight on how the dating world plays out in today's society and how it was back in the day. Mix in a little of Ansari's humor and it wasn't boring at all.
Mediking
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(08-23-2016, 04:16 AM)
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OT actually gives you the tools to kill the friendzone for once and for all.....
Ristifer
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(08-23-2016, 04:24 AM)
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My "$6" idea was used! My dating life is dry as a bone right now, but at least I contributed to DatingGAF in some way.
Mediking
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(08-23-2016, 04:26 AM)
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Originally Posted by M52B28

Is it a problem if you're told "You look like a nice guy, but you're being mean to me."? I was drunk and she was high, but I'm passive aggressive and very joke-ster-like when I'm drunk.

This all came after the girl and her friend came up to two of my friends and I chilling on the curb, so I was just going with the flow that I had with my friends (just joking around drinking)

I know we were definitely both gone, and I'm questioning if I should give this thought, but I don't think I was being a dick. I drink from time to time, but not really in public. Usually, most people that are around me know how I am.

This mainly makes me wonder what I come off as when drinking.

Might be time to put down the drinks, man.
GamerSoul
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(08-23-2016, 04:27 AM)
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I'm single for the first time in over 5 years. If anything happens I'll chime in lol.
MTE
Member
(08-23-2016, 04:28 AM)
Great OT.

I just recently go in to a relationship. My 2nd ever, and the 1st was only 3 months. I'm 31.
Please, anyone that's come to this thread for advice, follow everything in the OP. You aren't special or different, and neither are they.

I believe in you GAF!
EchoChamber
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(08-23-2016, 04:32 AM)
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Originally Posted by Mr Cola

Can anyone personally recommend the books in the OT? I am not looking to date currently but I enjoy the topic very much and talking to people about it.

Books:
Modern Romance by Aniz Ansari
Be the Person You Want to Find by Cheri Huber
Models by Mark Manson
Shyness: What it is and What to do about it by Philip Zimbardo
The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book about Relationships by Neil Strauss

i loved modern romance but i still don't use stuff like tinder so i don't think is very useful for me but i enjoy it, and models made me realize a lot of things i am doing wrong, i should probably read that book again, and i want to read the shyness book sounds like fun :)
GK86
Homeland Security Fail
(08-23-2016, 04:36 AM)
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Originally Posted by M52B28

Is it a problem if you're told "You look like a nice guy, but you're being mean to me."? I was drunk and she was high, but I'm passive aggressive and very joke-ster-like when I'm drunk.

This all came after the girl and her friend came up to two of my friends and I chilling on the curb, so I was just going with the flow that I had with my friends (just joking around drinking)

I know we were definitely both gone, and I'm questioning if I should give this thought, but I don't think I was being a dick. I drink from time to time, but not really in public. Usually, most people that are around me know how I am.

This mainly makes me wonder what I come off as when drinking.

Here is something that took me awhile to learn: you don't need to get drunk to have fun. Especially if you have an idea on how bad you get when you are drunk.
Will the Thrill
Member
(08-23-2016, 04:39 AM)
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Well I've got a date tomorrow! nice to have a new thread to talk about it in.
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
(08-23-2016, 04:45 AM)
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Subbing :)

Here's to another chapter. Curious to see where I'm at once this thread gets shut down in future. Currently been dating someone for a few months and am very happy with our progression :)
BkMogul
Member
(08-23-2016, 04:47 AM)
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First time, long time here GAF.

So I met this girl on OKCupid. Nice enough, but busy by her own admission. Went to a museum the 1st date and a movie the 2nd last Tuesday. She didn't seem particularly engaged the 2nd time around as I was doing most of the talking. Anyways, we last texted on Friday evening about our weekend plans (she had errands and some other engagements and I was taking my aunt to see the World Trade Center). I sent a long-winded message to that effect last Friday and no response to it. May initially seem juvenile, I know, but shouldn't the last person who sent a text wait for a response or should I just brush it off with a "Good Morning" tomorrow? Been out of the game for awhile so reading these things are hard.
Insane Metal
Banned
(08-23-2016, 04:49 AM)
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Originally Posted by gaiages

That's what online dating is for! I don't ever go out--ever--and I managed to find a man. If I can do it I assume most can.

Finding a man is much easier, come on.

I've tried pretty much EVERY dating site I could find and nothing helped. I'm just ugly and girls have no interest whatsoever when they see my picture. :|
Fury451
Member
(08-23-2016, 04:51 AM)
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Originally Posted by BkMogul

First time, long time here GAF.

So I met this girl on OKCupid. Nice enough, but busy by her own admission. Went to a museum the 1st date and a movie the 2nd last Tuesday. She didn't seem particularly engaged the 2nd time around as I was doing most of the talking. Anyways, we last texted on Friday evening about our weekend plans (she had errands and some other engagements and I was taking my aunt to see the World Trade Center). I sent a long-winded message to that effect last Friday and no response to it. May initially seem juvenile, I know, but shouldn't the last person who sent a text wait for a response or should I just brush it off with a "Good Morning" tomorrow? Been out of the game for awhile so reading these things are hard.

It's trial and error, you could always send a follow-up check in to see, but if you don't hear anything I would drop it.


The sad thing about online dating is that people seem to think ghosting is more of an effective method than just breaking off communication by having a brief conversation, or saying "I don't think it's a fit" and everyone moves on, when ghosting can really be a pretty hurtful and confusing thing to do to somebody.

I get why though, because some people can become a irrationally confrontational when you are just upfront and saying that it doesn't seem like it will work out or go anywhere so it's easier to avoid it and hope it goes away.
Max
I am not Max
(08-23-2016, 04:52 AM)
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$6 so subtle lmao
Salamando
Member
(08-23-2016, 04:52 AM)
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Originally Posted by BkMogul

First time, long time here GAF.

So I met this girl on OKCupid. Nice enough, but busy by her own admission. Went to a museum the 1st date and a movie the 2nd last Tuesday. She didn't seem particularly engaged the 2nd time around as I was doing most of the talking. Anyways, we last texted on Friday evening about our weekend plans (she had errands and some other engagements and I was taking my aunt to see the World Trade Center). I sent a long-winded message to that effect last Friday and no response to it. May initially seem juvenile, I know, but shouldn't the last person who sent a text wait for a response or should I just brush it off with a "Good Morning" tomorrow? Been out of the game for awhile so reading these things are hard.

A non-response is never good, but there's no harm in sending a followup.

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