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faridmon
Member
(01-12-2017, 01:48 AM)
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Originally Posted by CREMSteve

Semi on-topic... what the heck is Coachella? I'm envisioning a Woodstock-kind of thing?

Is this the Off-topic equivalent of '' Who is Ariana Grande?''
Za-Neen-Jya
Junior Member
(01-12-2017, 01:48 AM)
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#15a: Toenails must be clipped directly into my mouth.
LookAtMeGo
Member
(01-12-2017, 01:49 AM)
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10 really makes him seem like the "why do you make me hurt you?" Kinda person.
God Dayumm
Banned
(01-12-2017, 01:56 AM)
This is too cringeworthy even for fake troll standards. Therefore, real
Stencil
Member
(01-12-2017, 02:00 AM)
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perfect time for instigram photo!
Aske
Member
(01-12-2017, 02:01 AM)
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I don't think this is fake, and I'm surprised so many people do. Not seeing any of what the article calls "rape connotations" though. Red flags aplenty, but nothing suggesting he's more likely to force himself on a companion than anyone other dude would be.

He wants a bunch of creepy girlfriend-experience stuff, and hates bad nails and dry skin. If he wanted sex, he could have just used more inverted commas around words like "party", "fun", "sleep", etc. Actually, Gordie would have had a much easier time finding a 19-25 year old woman who would fuck him in exchange for a ride to Coachella than he will finding one who will put up with all this nonsense. What he's asking would be psychologically and emotionally exhausting.
navii
My fantasy is that my girlfriend was actually a young high school girl.
(01-12-2017, 02:13 AM)
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Originally Posted by preta

On my last caravaning holiday in NZ i needed a "legal" place to park my caravan overnight. I went to a free place and it was full, but I noticed a message written on a nearby toilet wall saying that there is a cheap caravan park nearby (plus address and price). I looked it up online and only found a Facebook page with 1 review. I thought WTH, seems legit, ill go and see if I survive the night. I arrived just near sunset at a place that looked like one of those farms from American Pickers, lots of old junk everywhere...

Turned out the place was really awesome and I spent 2 nights there (first night I was a bit scared). The owners seemed a bit hippy like and were running a small cow farm. The view was amazing from our caravan.
parrotbeak
Member
(01-12-2017, 02:16 AM)
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Originally Posted by Aske

I don't think this is fake, and I'm surprised so many people do.

It's like extremist writing, can't tell the difference between satire and the real thing.
see5harp
Member
(01-12-2017, 02:21 AM)

Originally Posted by zeemumu

Because of the implication?

LOL.
Peter Ian Staker
Member
(01-12-2017, 02:25 AM)
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There is no way this isn't a joke.
Selddon
Junior Member
(01-12-2017, 02:26 AM)
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I hope this was meant to be satire because the indian headress part is too on the nose to be real
Conciliator
Member
(01-12-2017, 02:33 AM)
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Hey, this guy has a really, really, really specific dream and he's making it happen man
Phil0sophy
Member
(01-12-2017, 02:34 AM)
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I got to toenail clipping and I genuinely burst out laughing, this shit cannot be real, surely?
Agent_ShortBus
Member
(01-12-2017, 02:35 AM)
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Originally Posted by tearsintherain

sometimes i realize how much it sucks being a guy, you never see ads like this wanting a dude for some coachella fun

gordie, i'd hang with you bro we'd eat beef jerky and paint each others toes all the time



because of the implication?

Lmap
Valkerionseven
Member
(01-12-2017, 02:43 AM)
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Welp, that escalated quickly.

Got to 5 and Yup... probably fake but still hilariously creepy.
The_White_Rose
Member
(01-12-2017, 02:46 AM)
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Can't even spell Instagram right, smh.
G-Bus
Member
(01-12-2017, 03:08 AM)
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no way is that real

could be fun to dress up like a girl and see how far into his screening process you could get.
DJChuy
Member
(01-12-2017, 03:13 AM)
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He left out the girl's body figure unless he has no preference. The no flirting/public affection or lose motel privileges is hilarious.

We lived in a messed-up world and a world where Trump was elected president, so anything is possible. I'm going to say real.
bomma_man
Member
(01-12-2017, 03:17 AM)
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Originally Posted by CREMSteve

Semi on-topic... what the heck is Coachella? I'm envisioning a Woodstock-kind of thing?

Congratulations on being more out of touch than Geordie 🌟
Hero_of_the_Day
Member
(01-12-2017, 03:19 AM)
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Originally Posted by Man Steps On Rake

What is 'HO scale'?
OldMan
Junior Member
(01-12-2017, 03:21 AM)
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ladies don't know what you're missing!


No but Be safe...
dc3k
Member
(01-12-2017, 03:22 AM)
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Originally Posted by Hero_of_the_Day

What is 'HO scale'?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HO_scale
CaviarMeths
Member
(01-12-2017, 03:23 AM)
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Gotta love it when old-ass men think "living just to have fun" is still fucking cute.

Or that they're attractive to 19-26 year old girls.
Hero_of_the_Day
Member
(01-12-2017, 03:33 AM)
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Originally Posted by dc3k

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HO_scale

Well, that's boring.
Arkos
Nose how to spell and rede to
(01-12-2017, 03:47 AM)
Will he take dudes? Cause I'm down
Lonewolf_92
Member
(01-12-2017, 03:57 AM)
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Originally Posted by Protome

I assume this is fake and referencing something.

If it isn't though, that shit is all so specific you have to assume he is explicitly trying to relive a find trip he had with his ex wife.

If it's a reference I don't know it either, if it's real I'm betting you're probably right, might explain the age range he's looking for too.
Apathy
Member
(01-12-2017, 04:00 AM)
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Originally Posted by Slayven

http://www.complex.com/music/2017/01...t-ad-coachella





Who's Gaffer is this?

Fake. Probably some 4channer wanting to make a meme or get the Internets attention


Originally Posted by Man Steps On Rake

LOL this made me laugh. Mutual touching but not gay

Originally Posted by Hero_of_the_Day

Well, that's boring.

Well he said HO scale not HOE scale
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
(01-12-2017, 04:04 AM)
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The "moisterized skin" part... brrr



Originally Posted by faridmon

Is this the Off-topic equivalent of '' Who is Ariana Grande?''

Originally Posted by bomma_man

Congratulations on being more out of touch than Geordie 🌟

I have no idea who/what Ariana Grande and Coachella are... *shrugs*
Days like these...
Poonani should have a ph balance of 0
(01-12-2017, 04:11 AM)
This is fake. He probably could have gotten away with it but his misspelling of 'instagram' gives him away.
Lonewolf_92
Member
(01-12-2017, 04:13 AM)
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Originally Posted by Morrigan Stark

The "moisterized skin" part... brrr





I have no idea who/what Ariana Grande and Coachella are... *shrugs*

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coache..._Arts_Festival

It's a big music festival down in California.


A bit of thought based on my last post, the guy would have been in his early 30's for the 1993 concert that Pearl Jam did that started the Coachella festival.
Last edited by Lonewolf_92; 01-12-2017 at 04:17 AM.
Cow Mengde
Junior Member
(01-12-2017, 06:35 AM)
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Originally Posted by backslashbunny

He sounds lonely as hell, to be honest.

I pity him.

Well, he did make an offer. Don't keep him waiting.
Phased
Member
(01-12-2017, 06:40 AM)
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I'm fine with any fetish, but people with feet fetishes can't help but be weird about it in my experience.

You do you when you're in the bedroom, but don't open with "hey can i see your feet in sandals" or something
mm04
Member
(01-12-2017, 06:41 AM)
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West Covina? This is going to be on an episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
bomma_man
Member
(01-12-2017, 07:00 AM)
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Originally Posted by Morrigan Stark

The "moisterized skin" part... brrr





I have no idea who/what Ariana Grande and Coachella are... *shrugs*

Have a 🌟 too
gnomed
Member
(01-12-2017, 07:02 AM)
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Originally Posted by RBH

BIG BONUS!

You must make pretty good PB & J sandwiches.
Wag
Junior Member
(01-12-2017, 07:09 AM)
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Originally Posted by Will the Thrill

"Must be ready to Party and HAVE FUN!"

Everything was fine until that last request...
bobawesome
Member
(01-12-2017, 07:11 AM)
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Originally Posted by SENPAIatLARGE

That request to keep the hands and feet moisturized, and to clip nails in his presence.
Hmmmmmmmm.....

WTF is the deal with people constantly posting this guy lately?
Fliesen
Member
(01-12-2017, 07:12 AM)
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Originally Posted by robotrock

instigram

this is amazing

"Instigram" must be the cutest thing i've read in days.
Every single other line must be the creepiest. :P

and it's not just a typo :P

also, this is clearly a fake ad. (please!)
Aske
Member
(01-12-2017, 07:17 AM)
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Originally Posted by Morrigan Stark

I have no idea who/what Ariana Grande and Coachella are... *shrugs*

A month-long white supremacist arts and culture festival held in Spain; and an evil fitness instructor who steals puppies and uses their skins to make gym shorts.
Razmos
Member
(01-12-2017, 07:18 AM)
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Originally Posted by human5892

I didn't know how this would go, but I'm actually having a really good time!

You're naughty!
Admiral Woofington
m'Souls, m'lady
(01-12-2017, 07:34 AM)
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I straight up burst out laughing when he says that at some point she has to turn around and tell him she's having a good time but didn't expect it so.

To give the benefit of the doubt it sounds like the guy watched a movie about two people falling in love and doing quirky shit in a music festival, or he has seen this shit previously scattered around many different shows, and now he wants to simulate what it'd be like.
gnomed
Member
(01-12-2017, 07:40 AM)
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Originally Posted by Aske

A month-long white supremacist arts and culture festival held in Spain; and an evil fitness instructor who steals puppies and uses their skins to make gym shorts.

What's a Craigslist?
Kurita
Member
(01-12-2017, 07:41 AM)
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Originally Posted by faridmon

Is this the Off-topic equivalent of '' Who is Ariana Grande?''

Heeeh, if you're not that into music/not American, Coachella might be obscure. Nothing outlandish about not knowing what it is.
Socreges
smarter than the average commie
(01-12-2017, 07:44 AM)
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Originally Posted by Hero_of_the_Day

What is 'HO scale'?

What is 'jo'...I mean I think I know
Amalthea
let's dance all the way down to Jewish history-town
(01-12-2017, 07:59 AM)
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It's pretty scary how he put citation marks on companion and one.

And everything else is scary too.
Miles Quaritch
lemme stick dat Red Ring
(01-12-2017, 08:06 AM)
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Reads like a man who is going through a mid-life crisis but doesn't have the money to actually pull it off.

I mean, soup plantation manager? Come on.
Aske
Member
(01-12-2017, 08:33 AM)
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Originally Posted by gnomed

What's a Craigslist?

Scottish for taint.

"Ech'll tuckle yew're craigslist uf ye funger me arsch, ye red-rumped sassanach!" - Macbeth, page 8
forms
Member
(01-12-2017, 08:42 AM)
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This is amazingly scary. The detailed list, the peculiar demands...fucking batshit crazy person.
Haunted
(01-12-2017, 08:45 AM)
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Gordon just has a dream, ya'll are haters.
Easy_D
never left the stone age
(01-12-2017, 08:47 AM)
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Always Sunny viral marketing? Dennis wrote that.

Originally Posted by bobawesome

WTF is the deal with people constantly posting this guy lately?

He, uhm, has a hand fetish. My avatar is actually from the same anime. Now you know.

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